So the first overnight… interesting. It was the first time we have had kids in our house for an extended amount of time without being able to pass them off to the parents they belonged to. How would this go?
Well, we had played golf that Saturday morning, so by the time we got to them we were hot, sweaty and hungry. We needed naps. They wanted to go to the park and swing. The one thing I was proud of was putting dinner together before we left. Cottage ham and green beans and potatoes and bread. What could go wrong?
Apparently everything. Wow, was that night an epic fail. Epic! They hated every single thing we did for dinner. So we ate cottage ham while they ate cereal. I felt horrible. They loved every second of it.
I think that’s where my panic attack started. As someone who has never had a panic attack before, I had no idea what was happening.
It all came to a head the next day. We took the kids to meet my parents and to the outdoor shopping area near their house. They didn’t ask for a thing. They didn’t take off. They didn’t try to steal anything. They listened and followed the rules. And yet in the middle of Bath and Body Works, I started to panic. Ever have a panic attack in the middle of a Bath and Body Works? Once I was able to breathe again, I was choked up by Juniper and Lemon and Lavender. It was AWESOME! But I held it together.
Until we dropped them off. We stopped for ice cream on the way home and I started to cry. Granted, not hard enough that I was able to finish my ice cream. I have my priorities. But still. I was just overwhelmed by what we were doing and I think that shocked me. Again, I thought I was immune because I do this every day. But I don’t take those kids home. They aren’t staring at me, needing things from me. So… panic.
But doesn’t that happen to every parent? I sure as hell hope so. I’ve been told that it does. While it was my first panic attack, I can’t imagine that it will be my last. Great.