Blowing the dust off

It’s been awhile.  What can I say?  Life got in the way?  It’s been crazy?  I got bored?  All of those things are true.  But, to be honest, we had a rough stretch of months.  And I felt like “no one wants to read about the shit”.  They only want me to talk about the happiness and the joy and the puppies and rainbows and kids are the greatest thing ever.

But, as I have learned, whether you birth ’em or not, there are rough patches.  And you want to murder them.  Yes.   Murder.  There have been quite a few days where I can’t believe everyone got out alive.  It’s crazy.  

13 gave us a run for our money there for awhile.  We weren’t sure we could do it.  We weren’t sure if we were what she needs at this point in her life.  Have we turned a corner?  I’m not sure.  We’ve hit some milestones.  We’ve started to really build some trust.  And the threat of losing her phone for even one day is enough to make her think twice.  And we are still having moments.  But who isn’t, right?  Show me a parent who isn’t having a moment and I’ll show you a parent who is a lying liar who lies.  

I sat with a woman in my office today as she struggles with the kids she’s taken in.  She’s new to this.  Brand spanking new home.  No kids.  Just her and the hubby and the dogs.  Sound familiar?  That was me in August.  She’s not a bad person for admitting that it’s hard.  Because it is.  So bloody ass hard.  It’s ok to cry.  You’re going to yell and lose your temper and say things you don’t mean.  That’s life.  That’s family.  That’s parenting.  Hell.  I had a very experienced foster dad look at me tonight and say “we’re just making it up 99% of the time”.  

We’re moving.  We found a 4 bedroom home in a much more desirable part of town, at least for me.  Goodbye Independence.  Hello Villa Hills.  Two of the bedrooms are interesting colors.  Yeah.  Let’s go with interesting, shall we?  But we are all ready to move forward.  And the new house… starting our new home the 5 of us together… to me, that’s the most exciting part of this whole journey.

I’ll do my best to update more regularly.  I need to.  If only for my own sanity.  But if you are ever wondering “what’s THAT like”… I recommend a book called Instant Mom.  It’s by Nia Vardalos.  You know, from My Big Fat Greek wedding.  Yeah, her.  It’s like she was hiding in my closet and writing this book about my experiences instead of hers.  I like knowing that someone who is besties with Tom Hanks is experiencing the same things I am.  

Josh and I are taking a trip, just us.  Nowhere super exciting.  Nashville.  But we plan to enjoy it.  Be adults for awhile.  Golf.  Drink.  Sleep past 7am.  You know, live it up.  

Have a good week.  

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