And then they release the Cracken

Who watches Modern Family?  Show of hands?  Yeah.  That’s what I thought.  So we have always watched it, but over this last season, I feel Josh and I have been able to relate to it more.  Especially to the Dunphys.

 

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There are times that Julie Bowen or Ty Burrell will rattle off a line and I think about it for days.  If you haven’t seen the second to last ep of the season… SPOILER ALERT… but Phil gets an RV and wants to take the family on a road trip and Claire is concerned about Phil finding about about the “maleficent hell spawn” that their children really are.  I died a little. There have been a couple of times this past season that I wish I had Steve Levitan and Chris Lloyd writing my comebacks for when the kids act a fool.

So I used that Cracken line yesterday to talk about the hellish tantrum 10 decided to have at the pool Tuesday and and 8 looked at me and said “he farted?” while pointing at her butt.  Yes.  That is what our house has turned in to.  Different ways to reference someone passing gas.  

We survived the school year.  Everyone passed.  Now we look to the summer.  Sleep away camp is a week from Monday.  4 days of no kids.  Just Josh and me and the house.  Haven’t had that in a long time.  Maybe we can get some stuff done?  Plus, we are taking our own trip this summer.  Staring slow by going to Cumberland.  We have got to work up to a plane and a different state.  I mean, there are wild monkeys that would have been better behaved at the doctor this morning than my 3 were.  You think I’m going to unleash THAT on the general traveling public when I myself am a horrid flier?  I would be the one trying to open the plane door to throw them out?  And those about to respond with “just drive.  It will be fine”.  Please.  I will see about that after we make the trek to Cumberland and get to spend time together on back Kentucky roads.  But there is no way on this holy Earth that I’m driving to El Paso.  Someone will end up in the middle of Nowhere, TX and it may just be me after I body roll out of the car because 10 is tired of listening to Ke$ha or Glee.  

13 turned 14 yesterday and tomorrow night is her birthday party.  A bunch of teenagers hanging out?  It will either be a rousing success or a complete disaster.  Because there is no in-between with teenagers.  Fingers crossed.

And a lovely and happy Memorial Day weekend to you and yours.  Enjoy.

And the hits keep coming…

You know that moment… that moment when you are like “OMG WHY!?!”  For some of my friends, it is the first time their kids either puke or pee or them.  Having skipped (been blessed?!?) to skip the baby portion of our show, I move right on to the school stuff.  And the stuff they can bring home with them.  Like lice.

Yes, my friends.  Lice.  Our dogs have never had so much as fleas and we had a lice outbreak.  It started when 13 got sent home. She found one in her hair in her first class.  Awesome.  Only found two but still.  We were sufficiently grossed out.  So we did the treatment and cleaned EVERYTHING.  Then, just as a precaution, we did the treatment on 10 and 8.  And did I find the mother load on 8.  It is like she was patient 0 or something.  I have never been so skeeved out in my life.  I swear, my head is still moving and we are two weeks out.  I have found a few bugs here and there since then, but GROOOOOSSSS!  

So we got moved.  The house is on the market.  So that stress begins.  Please house.  Please sell.  Please next owner.  Find us soon.  The garage is full of crap.  I’m beginning to wish we had thrown it all away.  

We went to Ikea on Mother’s Day.  Gave each kid a budget to decorate their room.  What was most surprising is that everyone made it out alive.  No blood was spilled.  I’m super proud of myself on that one.  

We are in the final days of the school year.  I think we will all be glad for the summer break.  The kids are looking forward to camp.  I’m going to be glad to not have to drive them out to school anymore.

Celebrated the first Mother’s Day.  It was nice.  Got a poem from 8.  Created and typed by her.  Shakespeare she is not, but she tried so hard.  And I got coupons.  She wants to help cook.  And one is for picking up “but not my room” she says.  I was also gifted a Reds bobblehead that 10 didn’t want that he got at the game the day before.  Nice.

Chopped my hair.  Lice will do that to you.

It still shocks me when people are in awe of what we are doing.  Almost a year in and it feels like it isn’t so much a special thing anymore.  I saw a dear friend from high school get married last weekend.  Hadn’t seen her or the new hubby since the weekend before we met the kids for the first time. They were so excited for us!  On THEIR wedding day.  I told Jackie not to cry, but that was an exercise in futility.  They can’t wait to meet the kids.  I said I couldn’t promise that I wouldn’t stick one in their trunk when they left.  They said they would be fine with that.  I told them they hadn’t met these kids yet.  

We are all volunteering with Go Cincinnati on Saturday.  I call it an exercise in humility.  Lord knows they all could stand some.  Enjoy your weekend.