I’m Sorry


I’m Sorry.  Those have to be two of the most hollow words in the world, right?  I hear it like a thousand times a day.  I’m almost desensitized to it.  It’s like I’m Sorry is thrown around just to shut me up.  It is like I’m Sorry makes everything all better.

It doesn’t.  I’m Sorry really just pisses me off.  Slam a door.  I’m sorry.  Eat dinner with a friend and then ask.  I’m sorry.  Forget to turn a light off.  I’m sorry.  Break a pencil.  I’m sorry.  Dog barks.  I’m sorry.  Wake us up early on a Saturday morning.  I’m sorry.  I’m sorry.  I’m sorry.  I’m sorry.

I would almost rather not hear anything at all.  They don’t mean it.  I’m not entirely sure they actually understand what it means to apologize.  For anything.  It is like we are playing a marathon game of Sorry in this house these days.  I’m sorry makes me want to rip my ears off my head.  And I would look weird without ears.  How would I keep my fabulous glasses on?  I mean really.

Whoever came up with I’m sorry… I kind of want to run you over with my car.

Apologies if that offends you.  Heh.  See what I did there?


66 Hours

And it’s here.

Josh is on a business trip.  For 66 hours it is just me versus the three of them.  Six if you count the dogs.  Will I lose my mind?  Will the house stay standing until Josh returns late LATE Friday night?  Who knows.  I know that tonight was aided by a dinner cooked by my mother, the start of yearbook, a middle school volleyball game and a new friend that lives down the street.  Tomorrow night, will it flow as easily?  Again.  Who knows.

I knew life would suddenly get busy… but wow.  Where did September go?  Anyone?  It is going to be Christmas before I realize it and I’m going to try to figure out where I left the rest of my year.

And school.  All the different ways to get busted with school.  Texting.  Portals.  Emails from teams.  Planners.  When did schools start having “teams?”  Or is that my Catholic school upbringing showing itself?  Ms. 13 got a phone.  And then promptly got it taken away two days in a row at school.  There was a possible cheating episode.  Ms. 8 signed Josh’s name in her planner when she forgot to give it to us one night.  Poorly, I may add.  She worked so hard to make it look so good, not realizing that she would have been better off making it as sloppy as possible.  We barely try anymore.  We have signed so much stuff I’m contemplating a rubber stamp with my signature.  I already do it at work.  Why not here?  Would anyone even notice?  The state of Kentucky sure doesn’t.

Our first Halloween will soon be upon us.  Costumes, from what I understand, is a racket.

I should really wait till everyone is in bed before I blog.  I have a hard-core game of hide and go seek going on at the moment.  They are excited.  So our young pup is excited.  And jumping.  I swear, it should be a rule that when a kid screams “HELP ME” at the top of their lungs there should be blood or a dog running rampant or something.

11.5 hours down.  54.5 more to go.  Cross your fingers.


So for years we have been talking about getting back to church.  Josh and I grew up so differently that we knew it was important, but it never came to the forefront.  We always found reasons… “nothing really fits what we want”… “maybe we will try next week”… “let’s wait for…”

Until now.  After a few weeks with the kids, we realized that church just isn’t important for us, but important for them.  It can give them more of a sense of belonging.  It will give them the opportunity to make friends from all different areas.  And to be honest, they could all use a big ol’ piece of humble pie most days.

So we hit up the new Crossroads in Florence today.  It’s like they designed exactly what Josh and I had been looking for.  The little kids got to hang out in the Kids’ Club.  In two weeks, the teenager will get involved with the teen group (because… go figure… most teens don’t want to be at the 9:30 service.  Strange.)

Another little nugget we have rediscovered… the Wii.  Hell, I forgot it was hanging up behind the TV until this weekend when one of the kids asked to play.  Now we have to find more Wii games.  Those have got to be a lot cheaper by now, right?

And it wasn’t just a weekend of discovery for us either.  This weekend, the kids went to their first wedding. They were in awe of the bride and her dress.  They were confused by the linen napkins.  No.  Seriously.  They asked where to wipe their hands.  New church.  And then, their first meal in a fancy restaurant.  We hit Sunday brunch at the 360 in Covington.  I love that brunch and I was really excited to share it with the kids. I mean, that brunch has got to have some of the best Prime Rib in town.  They can’t wait to go back.

Have a great week.

Kids are troopers.

Seriously. Sick kids can break your heart.


So this poor boy.  This poor little boy who gets lost in the shuffle of his verbose (and I can hear the 8-year-old in my head… “I have no idea what that means” with a sideways glance, like I’m making up words as I go along) and gregarious (same situation) sisters.  This boy… caught the funk.  We tried.  We cleaned and changed sheets and made sure they didn’t drink or eat after us… yet he still got sick.  Poor thing would about break your heart with his red eyes and little cough and sniffle.

But he was a trooper all day.  It had been a very long and boring weekend in the Hughes home, with both of us sick and an extra day off.  They got through yesterday and this morning so we decided to take them to the festival at the church out near our house.  The girls had been begging.  Josh and I played a game of “Yeah, but I…” until we decided that everyone needed to go.  Even sickly.  And instead of fighting it, like most kids would have, he just got out of bed, put on his shoes and his new raincoat and got in the car.

And boy did it rain when we got out there.  But he didn’t complain.  He watched his sisters ride the rides and play the games and he just took it.  Like a champ.  He did get that piece of pizza he had been asking for.

And, of course, when his sister got her bike out, we heard “I’m feeling better now.  Can I ride my bike?”  Damn the man!  Save the Empire!  He was NOT going to be stopped from riding his bike and playing outside.  Or at beating the rest of us at a game of Sorry.  Fingers crossed he feels somewhat better in the morning.

In sickness and in health


Funny thing.  Kids don’t care when you are sick.  Josh and I have both been battling a cold… West Nile… whatever is the latest fad right now… for most of the week.  And boy have these kids been troopers.  But there is no rest for the wicked.  So yesterday, after gracing them with more TV than I care to admit yesterday, we ran errands, got dinner and ice cream.

Ever been with a kid on their first trip to Graeter’s?  Holy cow.  I’ve been eating Graeter’s for so long, it is like a second nature to me.  But watching these little eyes light up when they hit one of the famous Graeter’s Chocolate Chips?  Wow.  No one cared that it was about 30 degrees in there last night.  They were going to finish that ice cream.

And today.  With my froggy voice and my stuffy nose and my desire to just sleep the day away, I packed up mine plus a friend and traipsed over to the indoor pool.  They got 90 minutes of pool time.  I got to figure out how to not fall asleep while laying on a metal bench.  God bless iBooks and Gone Girl.  That kept me going.  

But we are trucking along.  The oldest has been at a sleep over every night.  I’m choosing to believe it is because she is so popular and not because Josh and I are lame.  The other two are looking forward to dessert tonight (without their sister… MORE TO GO AROUND) and a movie.  Me?  I may fall asleep on the couch covered in child.  And one of these days I will wake up feeling (and sounding) like myself again.

Hope you all had a great (and dry… cause we didn’t) Labor Day Weekend.

Kids stop for no man…

Even after a 10 hour day.  As soon as I hit the door… an hour late… and without my planned gym pit stop…. “Can I get on the computer?”  “Sign my planner.”  “I need help with homework… nah, I’ll just wait for Josh”.  “Can I go play?”  Thank God Dewey’s reheats pretty darn good.  And thank god I have a mommy who comes to save my ass when I get stuck in said 10 hour day.  

So we are coming up on a month.  Our first holiday weekend together.  I always frown at the crowds at St. Cecilia’s Festival, but do we go this year?  We have to hit the pool.  That’s a given.  

Thursday is our 9th anniversary.  My mom turned 60 yesterday.  I had grand plans for both events.  But kids stop for no man.  So I texted my mom her happy birthday and we are escaping for a few hours Friday night for a grown up dinner.  There will not be a chicken tender or hot dog in site.  View Cucina better be on their game Friday night.  I have expectations.  

Time to shower, pass out and do it all over again tomorrow.  Good night world.


So we traveled to Indiana to see the in-laws this weekend.  And as we laid in bed at 730 on Sunday morning with our 8 year old, who was making Josh say he was an old man, I looked over at him and said “this is soooooo not the life we were living 2 months ago”.

2 months ago, this cold I’m currently battling would have kept me in bed.  Now I’m just hoping to not infect some poor unsuspecting person at Kroger this afternoon.  

2 months ago I would have still been laying in bed watching The Today Show, not updating a blog.

So heading into week 3, we all seem to be getting into a groove.  The kids were all pretty excited to go to Indiana, not that you would know it.  I swear, the further we get away from the house, the more comatose one of the kids becomes.  She barely spoke all weekend.  We get home and I ask them all if they enjoyed themselves and she was definitely the loudest with a resounding “YES”.  Kids.  

I got bested by 3rd grade math last week.  I’m not ashamed to admit that.  I’m sure I’m not the only one.  

They fought over donuts that were the EXACT. SAME.  Donuts that we begged Josh’s aunt not to buy.  I swear, the train comes off the tracks every Sunday.  Yeah, yeah, yeah… it was a big weekend.  But still.  

I’ve watched several episodes of something called Good Luck Charlie.  Disney kind of sucks but of all the suck, that one definitely sucks the least.  I’m also starting to develop an appreciation for Wizards of Waverly Place.  2 months ago, I couldn’t have told you what number Disney was.  

So the week is about to begin today.  Hope you all have a good one.

It’s the little things

We went from wanting a new frig to needing a new frig for our sanity!


It really is the little things.

  • White shirts coming home in color
  • Delaying bedtime by asking for “huggies”
  • Horrid morning breath because teeth brushing is apparently lame.
  • So are showers.
  • “I’m hungry.”  “I’m really hungry.”  “I’m still hungry.”  Hence the new frig.  Big WHAT UP to Lowe’s for delivering on Sundays.  I’ve never been the first delivery off the truck before.
  • More Disney, less USA

So it’s been a week, plus.  We survived a birthday dinner.  We have had our first come to Jesus meeting.  I managed to make everyone cry this weekend.  Yet there was no blood and everyone is still breathing.  Success!  But they all start going to the sitter after school today.  That tune may change at 5 tonight.

The First Overnight

So the first overnight… interesting.  It was the first time we have had kids in our house for an extended amount of time without being able to pass them off to the parents they belonged to.  How would this go?

Well, we had played golf that Saturday morning, so by the time we got to them we were hot, sweaty and hungry.  We needed naps.  They wanted to go to the park and swing.  The one thing I was proud of was putting dinner together before we left.  Cottage ham and green beans and potatoes and bread.  What could go wrong?

Apparently everything.  Wow, was that night an epic fail.  Epic!  They hated every single thing we did for dinner.  So we ate cottage ham while they ate cereal.  I felt horrible.  They loved every second of it.  

I think that’s where my panic attack started.  As someone who has never had a panic attack before, I had no idea what was happening.

It all came to a head the next day.  We took the kids to meet my parents and to the outdoor shopping area near their house.  They didn’t ask for a thing.  They didn’t take off.  They didn’t try to steal anything.  They listened and followed the rules.  And yet in the middle of Bath and Body Works, I started to panic.  Ever have a panic attack in the middle of a Bath and Body Works?  Once I was able to breathe again, I was choked up by Juniper and Lemon and Lavender.  It was AWESOME!  But I held it together.

Until we dropped them off.  We stopped for ice cream on the way home and I started to cry.  Granted, not hard enough that I was able to finish my ice cream.  I have my priorities.  But still.  I was just overwhelmed by what we were doing and I think that shocked me.  Again, I thought I was immune because I do this every day.  But I don’t take those kids home.  They aren’t staring at me, needing things from me.  So… panic.  

But doesn’t that happen to every parent?  I sure as hell hope so.  I’ve been told that it does.  While it was my first panic attack, I can’t imagine that it will be my last.  Great.  

The First Visit


So the first visit.  We met the kids on a Sunday morning for the first time.  Nerves galore on all sides.  Until we said we wanted to take them to the zoo.  Then we were their best friends. 

It had been a long time since I had been to the Cincinnati Zoo.  I had forgotten what it was like to see it through the eyes of a kid.  “Can we see… ”  “Can we go…”  “Do you think they have a…”  for 5 hours.  We started to learn things that day.  Like the youngest has a mind like a steel trap.  Don’t tell that one anything unless you plan to follow through.  And that the boy… that poor boy… he just gets run over by his sisters.  I have to make sure to make him talk or he will just sit back and do whatever they want. 

Of course, it isn’t a trip to the zoo if someone doesn’t cry.  And we had tears.  The youngest and her sister wanted their faces painted.  Highway Robbery!!!  $8 for paint that’s just going to get rubbed off before we get out of the place.  And that’s the cheap stuff!  Anyway, I was only willing to pay for the $8 face paint.  And the youngest didn’t care for that one bit.  So… tears.  We learned fairly quick that that is her go to reaction when she doesn’t get her way.  That one doesn’t take no very well.  She’s adorable and she knows it.  That one is going to keep us on her toes.  And the oldest was willing to forgo a face paint because her sister was crying.  No.  She followed the rules, so she got the reward.  Throw a fit, get left out.  There are more of those coming our way. 

And the ducks.  There are all kinds of cool animals at the zoo, but what did they all scream and scream for pictures of?  Ducks.  Regular old ducks.  All I could think was “we can see ducks for free!”  Kids. 

Then we took them to our home to feed them dinner.  Chili dogs and macaroni and cheese.  And this is when we discovered food issues.  My husband and I love food.  Since I’ve met him, my palate has expanded so much and there is so much good food out there.  We just love it.  So when these three looked at us and basically said all they eat is boxed mac n cheese, PBJ and hot dogs, I wanted to keel over.  These kids are either going to try things or get real sick of PBJ. 

We showed them our house, our home, our dogs, our life.  They were trying so hard that day.  It was heartbreaking.  They just want a family and a home so bad that they will go over the top to get it, to impress us.  It was so clear. 

Then, of course, they discovered the doggie door.  What is it about kids and doggie doors?  When our nephew visited us one year with my in-laws, that kid went in and out of the doggie door instead of using the regular door.  Is it easier?  Cool?  Something that they know that adults can’t and won’t do?  They kept sticking their heads out the doggie door to yell up at us on the deck. 

We dropped them off that night with their current foster parents and started to plan our next event.  The first overnight.  Oh my…